#JWI: Eight || For Wishful Thinking

At some point that time will come – when everything is at its place. When I can and I will. When you’re there and I’m there and the only thing separating us is an aisle to walk on. On that day I will have been a mess, but a thankful one nonetheless because finally another dream is coming true – one that has been so wishfully thought of for as long as I can remember.

Though I might not know know who you will be, from now until the moment God decides to have our paths cross, I hope you are happy and safe on your own. Until then, you are a constant in my prayers, and I will be waiting until we can spend love and life together for however long we are given.

Someone Like You – Voctave (ft Jody McBrayer)

I’ve found it. I wish you do too.

#JWI: Seven

it’s been a while, and i’ve hit the plateau again. there’s a niggling feeling that this is like five years ago, and it scares me.. but the realization that it’s not enough to make me move terrifies me more.

there’s a lot to prove, and there’s so little time. and while i’m certain every other me in the parallel universes are working their asses off, i’m here and not doing them proud. it’s starting to get hard. i need the push, just like two years ago. but i don’t want to feel that anger. i just need something to give me that kind of motivation again. and soon.

#JWI: Six || The Weekend That Was

SATURDAY

The original plan was to home right after duty but due to the availability of the condominium owner for viewing of the unit, I spent most of the day in San Juan getting familiar with our would-be home for the board review.

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Spotted!

Getting to the area was a bit trying. Good thing the car we used had a GPS system and we were able to navigate effectively despite having to do some adjustments when the traffic looked a little heavy. We got a little lost when we were almost at the area and had to circle a few more times before finally spotting the gate. I like how they kept a strict system on visitors – allowing in only those who have set appointment. Even at the reception area everyone was asked to sign in their names and person of contact before being cleared for visit. The overall location of our building, despite being amidst a very busy road, ensured that we had easy walking access to our review centers as well as grocery shopping (which essentially means FOOD which means everything for us). What’s better is it’s parallel to the MRT line and Gilmore station is right within reach. I can hop trains and go home faster than usual. And did I mention we’re right by Robinson’s Magnolia? Yep, we are.

The unit is satisfactory, with ample space and ventilation, water supply and emergency exit access (the panic door is right across our unit). There are two bedrooms, a kitchenette with rice cooker, microwave, electric kettle and a fridge, a bathroom and a utility room. The sala doubles as the dining area. Everything was a functional space. We didn’t have wifi which is good. It’s also the last thing we need. I could go with just singing to myself all day everyday if it means bagging the license by September. I-sacrifice na lahat, pumasa lang.

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After closing the deal, I rode the bus to Sto Tomas as it had been planned that Tatay will wait for me and I’d go home with them from them. In the middle of the bus ride I got a text saying he’ll go ahead as the cows needed tending. I was running late nga kasi, gagabihin na siya. I alighted minutes later and Ate Baby fetched me, during which time I got the news: Ninang Nena has passed away.

She’s our maternal aunt who had been battling Parkinson’s disease for the last decade. Complications have risen to the point that she’s almostt always bedridden. Care of her had been entrusted to a couple who lived with her. The reason of her death had not been clear. Sobrang biglaan. To think that she had just been discharged from the hospital a few days before following wound debridement of her bed sores. She was far from being septic, and medications were being given. So it had really come as a surprise. What’s heartbreaking is that her husband, Ninong Romy, died only nine months ago. And now their only son (whose only purpose of working abroad is to work for support of her medications) is coming home to that kind of news. Ang lungkot lang.

We came home momentarily to eat dinner before following Inay, Ate My and Jerome to Inicbulan. Only a few people were present, mostly the closest relatives. Some are still being notified, all equally saddened by Ninang’s passing. Kuya Mark had already been informed and he was crying hard daw. How hard it must have been for him.

Kuya Renan had called as soon as he’s out from work and said him and Ate Jen will visit the next day. Inay stayed. Tatay did his visit early the next morning.

SUNDAY

Ate Baby had to leave early because of an OR sched. The rest of us got to stay in bed a little longer before we were woken by Inay’s arrival. She left right after changing and had planned to stay at the wake until that evening.

The rest of the day was spent at home, and although none of our weekend plans actually happened, it was not an unproductive time. Sad, yes. But we did what we could to adjust. What’s better is, we got to spend a little more time talking to Tatay. 🙂

Kendrick was dropped off at home while his parents visited Ninang. Ang bait lang nya – he’s quiet and just walks around, playing with whatever he finds. He had a particular liking to the newly adopted kitten despite getting initially startled by the excited meow-ing. He also learned how to say Babay although his wave looked more like a close-open motion than an actual wave. Haha.

Tatay had shared hs plans to overhaul our owner-type jeep. It’s the oldest vehicle we have – a year older than me at 26 years! The exterior might not be as maintained as the earlier years but the running condition of the engine is unbelievable. Beterano na yung owner namin. Minsan naiisip ko baka nga Transformer pa to e. Haha. I think Tatay was feeling a little bit sentimental and asked me to take a picture of it.

Yung next generation ng mga kids mukhang happy din namang mag-model. We didn’t expect Kendrick to actually enjoy playing with the wheel. It came to the point when we had to coax him from the vehicle kasi ang init na. 🙂

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Jerome. 🙂

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Kendrick 🙂

#JWI: Five || Inside

It’s years old and i’m opening it for reasons beause I went on a cleening spree and discovered it was at the dorm all along (as opposed to my belief that I left it in my bigger box at home) and because I have more important things to do but you know, distractions first. At least just this once.

So what’s inside the box?

  1. Mind Museum ticket for last December 2013
  2. Mind Museum impression using the ink and press
  3. My college MP3 player; and it still plays! haha.
  4. A keychain teddy bear
  5. A broken bracelet
  6. A flower origami
  7. A dried up rose from Valentine’s Day 2013
  8. A keychain of bottled seashells
  9. La Sallian Star Souvenir Card and admission bracelet
  10. An old watch
  11. Old IDs from UST and UERM
  12. UST Pharmacy nameplate
  13. UST pin
  14. UST alumni card
  15. Movie Tickets: Skyfall, Harry Potter , No Other Woman, Transformers 3,
  16. Bus tickets
  17. Birthday cheesecake cardboard
  18. Handwritten Notes and Letters from friends (some at the on back of receipts because we do it when we’re eating out)
  19. Two letters from my elder sister – the first was when I was about to enter college and the second from the New Year’s Eve I entered my first OR case
  20. Handwritten recollection of conversations
  21. An essay for Sociology and Anthropology (2010) on family and rediscovery

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i read the letters, every single one of them. i miss those people. i miss the crcumstances before. who i was before. i miss that time. i’d like to talk to them and ask how they are, what have happened to their lives. if they’re happy, if they’re okay. if the things we talked about before still bother them, still occupy a big part of their lives. or if it has become something they just learned to live with.

people have moved on in a way or another. they always will. things have changed. it always will. i just wish i didn’t have to feel so left out sometimes. i need some form of constancy in my life right now, preferrably in the form of people. they’re just too far away from me.

wow, this is depressing. what should have been a feel good reminiscing went to be downright sentimental. what is wrong with me?

vma-crying-5

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Mood: missing people. damn emotions.
Now Playing: Adele – All I Ask || It matters how this ends coz what if I never love again?

#JWI: Four

Q: What are three things that truly impact your life, other than people?

  1. Principles (and keeping them).
  2. Dogs.
  3. Intellectual furthering.

-#-#-#-

I didn’t consider zodiac compatibiliy before but having read agreeable articles about the dynamics of the supposed personalities, I’m close to believing it’s possible. Although I don’t understand much about the houses and moons, the idea of finding a kindred spirit based on stars and being occasionally a dreamer, this somehow feels right. It’s written in the stars, they say. I’m inclined to agree. And maybe a little bit hopeful. 🙂

Since reading about the topic, i have consciously identified the signs of people among my social circle and have found people who 1) fit the personalities better than the others and 2) who might be (with just a little bit of bias) actually work out.

Taurus and Pisces are both intelligent men, with good standing among their social circle. Taurus has quite the humor, although it often stems from making (good) fun of other people. His perspective on issues surrounding his friends are objective at best – seeing both sides before making an opinion of it. He does not shy from giving and receiving affection. And he can eat. Grabe. His appetite is both endearing and infectious. Yung tipong gusto mo pa din ng isa pang order ng rice pag kasama mo cya. Ganon cya kasarap kumain. Haha. And the kulit level is to the roof!

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I know less of Pisces because we don’t have much common friends. He’s fairly humorous, but most of it is based off on flirting and boy does he know how to do it. Between them, he’s more clean-cut, sophisticated looking. (Taurus is the more rugged type.) Men who can drive have always had plus points for me because it’s a sign of independence and experience in judgement, something I very much approve. He’s a healthy eater, so I’ve heard. His life goals are on point. Professionally, he’s getting there. Romatically, I think that part went to the back burner for a while. That, or I’m right about him having relationship issues. I think he flirts a lot because it’s his happy time. He’s typically the one to say he’s busy being a doctor right now. You know, the career type of guy because he’s scared to commit because it might not turn out to be as good as expecte? i don’t know, i just feel he’s at that mindset. I personally think that’s a waste, because like Taurus he can be quite a catch. And did I say he’s cute? Well, he is. 😀

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I see balance in them. And not a dull moment. One’s into food and the other’s into adventure, both very good things for me. Haha. Of course this is all what ifs but I’d like to think that thinking would actually get me there. The universe will conspire for it, right? And hey, Duchess Kate got Prince William. What’s that got to say of two would-be doctors? We all just need to be a little more positive about things like this. I’m just leaving a little extra wish to my lucky stars. Haha.

-#-#-#-

Mood: presently craving tocilog from Countryside.
Now Playing: Dear No One by Tori Kelly || “Cause when the time is right you’ll be here but for now, dear no one, this is your love song.”

 

 

#JWI: Three | Roadtrips and you

you make me want to go on a roadtrip with you. somewhere far, like Ilocos or Baguio. the windows will be rolled down and a mix of pop and country music will be playing loud enough to get us in the groove to sing along or most of the time dance to it. the back seat will have hastily packed overnight bags, blankets and grocery bags from our spontaneous shopping spree of snacks (and lots of water) earlier. i’ll have my sunglasses on, and because it’s a long trip i’ll be wearing a dress or a shirt and shorts. you’ll have the same laid back look and i might find myself stealing glances at you because you have that charm, even in casual wear. damn you.

you’d most likely start the conversations, and i’d be the one to start the singing. when it gets dark and you get a little tired, we’d switch and i’d let you sleep. and when my eyes start to ache, we’d find some place to stop by for the night, recline the seats and fall asleep curled up under the blankets.

when morning comes, you’d wake me with a cup of coffee – because it turned out you had been prepared more than i originally thought and that’s sweet as hell – and we’d find breakfast in one of those roadside tapsihans and in between bites we’d enjoy the silence, unprovoked to start talk because we like things gradual and it’s 5AM and that’s just what we need for now. we might walk awhile, chatting up locals for the wheres and hows and taking just a little too many photos because it will be some time before it happens again.

When we finally decide to get back on the road hours later, we’re a little more excited for this. you start the car, i queue my playlist and we’re off, doing the same crazy things we did yesterday. you’d laugh out loud, making your eyes crinkle just a little bit more on the sides. your hands will be tapping along with the song and my head will be nodding to the beat. sometime during the drive you’ll roll the windows down again and we’d stick our arms out, going full roadtrip mode when we shout out, uncaring of the cars and people we’d pass.

it’s crazy. we’re crazy. this is a bit far from happening but i like it for too many reasons. you, mainly. plus the way you make me smile even when we aren’t anything right now. but yeah.. still other reasons.

thank you for remembering my birthday, MG. 🙂 i’ll see you again soon.

[Review] Colourette Colourstick

i’ve started advocating #OrganicLove for the past few months, changing my diet from fastfood takeouts to packed lunches with veggies  and fruits (especially during duty because you’ll never know when you can eat again), substituting bottled spices with fresh ones and downgrading most of my skincare products from being mall-bought to kitchen-derived. It’s cheap and it feels good.

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